To Hell with You Chili

I call this "To Hell with You Chili" because I know the moment I post it a bunch of people who REALLY care about chili will write to me and explain to me exactly why this chili is just so so so wrong.

I don't care.  I like this chili.  It tastes good.  It makes me happy.  And my kids like it too.

So . . . well, you get where this is going . . .

Some credit here goes to my friend Sarah who, years ago, told me that her secret for good chili was to use italian sausage instead of ground beef.  Way to go, Sarah!  From there on, it was just one broken rule after another for me.

Note that I kept the heat pretty low on this.  Feel free to add more chili powder or red pepper flakes, particularly if you're mad or your children have been acting sassy lately.  

To Hell with You Chili

2 14 oz. cans Mexican tomatoes (I mean that the tomatoes have Mexican-style spices in them, not that they're actually from south of the border)
1 6 oz. can tomato paste
1 carrot, sliced
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 onion, chopped
2 stalks of celery, also chopped
1/3 cup dark beer
1/3 cup beef broth
1/3 cup steak sauce
1/4 cup white wine
1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/2 green pepper, chopped
1 jar of fire-roasted red peppers, drained and chopped
1 lb. mild Italian sausage (or hot, if you prefer)
1/2 lb ground sirloin
5 slices of bacon
2 TBS chili powder
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. dried basil
1 15 oz. can kidney beans
1 TBS chopped fresh cilantro
1 TBS chopped fresh parsley

1. Combine tomatoes, tomato paste, onion, carrot, celery, beer, broth, wine, steak sauce, pepper flakes, bell peppers, and roasted pepper together in a large pot.  
2. Simmer over medium heat. 
3. Cook bacon in a frying pan until crunchy. 
4. Drain bacon on paper towels.  Cook sausage and beef in bacon grease.  Stir in the chili powder, basil, and cumin. 
5. Mix the beef/sausage mixture into the simmering vegetables, adding the bacon.  
6. Cover and continue to simmer for 20-30 minutes (or longer), until the veggies are tender and the flavors are tasty.  
7. Stir in the beans, cilantro, and parsley.  Simmer for another ten minutes. 
8. Serve with saltine crackers.  

Family ratings: 

Will, who almost likes this chili as much as fajitas but won't give it a higher score just out of principle: 9.5

Lucy, who pretty much loves everything:  10

Jamie, who can occasionally surprise himself with the things he likes: 9

Ellen, who much prefers the vegetarian chili recipe we've been using for twenty years:  6

Paul, who knows he's going to get in trouble with his mom for naming this chili what he did:  10

Salmon Pasta with Tarragon Sauce

Yeah, I know, I know:  whose kid eats salmon?  I mean, really, right?

Fair enough.  While Will and James will do due diligence and eat more or less most of the salmon that arrives on their plate in this dish, Lucy, my fearless go-to eater, pretty much refuses to eat more than one piece or two of the salmon, picking through the noodles instead.  She does this, I'm pretty sure, more out of principal than out of taste:  fish has always been the one food item at which she draws the line, and the more her older brother teases her about it, the more she insists she hates it.

So when I serve this, two of my kids do fairly well, one of my kids eats pretty much only the noodles and sauce, and Ellen and I CHOW DOWN!

Because you know what?  This dish tastes GREAT--so great that I'm not really bothered if my kids don't like it and/or don't eat that much of it.  Hell, serve them a couple carrot sticks to round off their appetites if that's what it takes.  This meal is delicious, and it deserves to be placed on the table at every possible opportunity.

Period.

And just for the record, tarragon is THE most underrated herb ever.

Period.

A few notes:

• Always used the thin sliced smoked salmon--also known as lox.  And if you can, get the hardwood apple smoked, as I find this adds a little extra sweetness and . . . um . . . smokiness . . .
• Use fresh tarragon.  And rather than plucking the leaves off the stem one by one, just hold the stem firmly in one hand, pinch the fingers of the other hand together, and pull along the stem in one smooth motion, tearing the leaves off that way.  Much faster. 

I took this recipe from the Betty Crocker Easy Italian book, pretty much word for word.  Betty rocks, even if she is just the imaginative product of an anonymous corporation.  

Salmon Pasta with Tarragon Sauce

16 oz. bow-tie or similar pasta
1 TBSP olive oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 TBSP chopped fresh tarragon leaves
1 TBSP chopped fresh parsley

1/4 cup dry white wine or chicken broth

1.5 cups half-and-half

2 tsp stone-ground mustard

1-2 packages (3-4 oz. each) of sliced smoked salmon lox

1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

1. Cook and drain your pasta following the directions on the package
2. Prepare your herbs
3. Pealing off each layer of the salmon separately, cut it into 1/2-inch wide strips using a cooking shears (this is to prevent the salmon from clumping together, something that will undoubtedly turn off any kid)
4. In a medium skillet, heat the oil over moderate heat.  Cook the onion, tarragon, and parsley for 3-4 minutes, until onion is tender.  
5. Add the wine
6. Cook for 2-3 minutes, until the wine has almost evaporated
7. Stir in the half-and-half and the mustard
8. Heat until just boiling, then reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 7-8 minutes, until the sauce has thickened
9. In a large serving dish, mix together the pasta, the salmon, the sauce, and 1/4 cup of the cheese, then toss gently until the pasta is coated
10. Serve with remaining cheese

Family Ratings: 

Lucy, who insists she hates fish even though she once gave a tuna steak a "10" before realizing what it was:  6

Jamie, who still kind of assumes all meat is chicken:  8

Will, who likes to like fish because his sister hates it:  8

Ellen, who herself isn't too crazy about smoked fish:  10

Paul, who never ate salmon until he was 35 and now loves it:  10

Wild Rice Salad with Chicken (or leftover Turkey)

This is one of those recipes that I found in the newspaper maybe three weeks ago.  Since then, we've made it approximately 26 times, and it's been gobbled down every time.

Obviously, it's intended for the efficient re-use of leftover chicken or turkey--you need about two cups of either.  Since I don't always have chicken laying around the house, I've also included a little coda that shows how to prepare chicken breasts specifically for this recipe.

Don't worry about either the onions or the hot pepper sauce bothering your fussy kids:  the grapes and apples will distract them, and I find that they also generally like the chewy-ishness (yes, that's a real word) of the wild rice.  But then, who doesn't?

Wild Rice Salad with Chicken (or Turkey)

1 cup uncooked brown rice

1 cup uncooked white rice

1 cup uncooked wild rice

3 cups chicken broth (more or less, depending on whether or not you're using a rice steamer)

3 cups water (again, more or less)

2 cups leftover chicken (or 1-1.5 lb. uncooked chicken breast--see note, below)

1 cup seedless grapes, halved

1/4 cup celery

1/4 cup green onion, sliced

1/4 cup walnut pieces

1/4 parsley, chopped

1/2 tsp. coarse salt

1/2 tsp. pepper

1 Granny Smith Apple, cut into wedges

1 cup chicken broth

For the dressing:

1/4 cup orange juice

2 Tbsp. white wine vinegar

2 tsp. sugar

1/2 tsp. coarse salt

1/2 tsp. hot pepper sauce

1. Rinse the three rices and mix them together.  If you have a rice steamer, pour them in to the steamer and measure in the appropriate amount of liquid, being sure to use equal parts chicken broth and water.  If you're NOT using a rice steamer, you'll likely need a total of six cups of liquid (or slightly less)--again, using equal parts chicken broth and water.  
2. Start the rice.  Go read a book or play with your kids or something.  (Obviously, this step can be done ahead of time).  
3. If you DON'T have any pre-cooked chicken, at this point follow the instructions in my note below.  
4. Once the rice is done, scrape it into a large bowl to cool.  Stir it on occasion to let the heat out. 
5. Taste the rice and add a little salt if it needs it. 
6. In a small sauce pan, heat up the chicken broth.  When it's just starting to boil, drop in your apple wedges.  Simmer for 10-15 minutes until just soft.  Remove apple wedges, get rid of the chicken broth. 
7. Chop your cooked chicken, the celery, the green onions, and the parsley.  Slice your grapes.  Mix all of this together with the walnut pieces and the salt and pepper.  When the apples have cooled, chop them into thirds and add them as well. 
8. Mix together the ingredients for the dressing.  
9. Combine the rice, the chicken mixture, and the dressing.  Add additional seasoning if necessary.  
10. Serve. 

NOTE:  If you don't have pre-cooked or leftover chicken, do this while the rice is cooking. 

1. Trim and separate 1-1.5 lbs. chicken breasts, then cut each breast in half again. 
2. Heat 1 Tbsp. olive oil and one Tbsp. butter in a small frying pan.  
3. Brown the chicken very very lightly.  You don't want to form a hard coating.  
4. Add roughly 1 cup chicken broth.  
5. Cover.  Bring to boil.  Cook on medium-low for 8-12 minutes.  (You can also throw in the apple wedges at this point, if you'd like.)
6. Once the chicken is done, chop and continue the recipe until completed.  

Family Ratings

Lucy, who pretty much loves everything:  10

Jamie, who's getting really fussy, but likes the grapes and wild rice:  10

Will, who's 13 and feeling kind of contrary:  8

Ellen, who's a little surprised I'm cooking something so healthy:  10

Paul, who's even more surprised:  10

Simple Pasta with Nuts and Cheese

I clipped this recipe from the Columbus Dispatch (aka, the Dogpatch) roughly twenty years ago.  It's one of those recipes that I always forget about, but every time I make it I'm just delighted.  And this last time I made it, the kids loved it.  It's so simple, that it's about to become a staple at our house . . . 

Simple Pasta with Nuts and Cheese 

12 oz. rotini

6 tablespoons butter

2 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped

1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts

1/3 cup grated Parmesan

1-2 tablespoons crumbled blue cheese

3 tablespoons finely chopped parsley

Salt and pepper to taste

1. Boil a pot of water and cook your pasta until al dente. 
2. When the pasta is close to done, heat the butter in a small pan at medium. 
3. Add the garlic and cook for one minute.
4. Add the nuts and sauté two minutes, until toasted.  Remove from heat. 
5. Combine pasta, cheeses, parsley, and nuts in a serving dish.  Toss to coat.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  

Family Ratings

Will, who's getting almost easygoing about food:  10

Lucy.  Nuts?!  Cheese?!  You kidding me?!:  10

Jamie, who also likes cheese:  10

Ellen, who can't believe I remembered this recipe after all these years: 10

Paul.  Nuts?!  Cheese?!  You kidding me?!: 10

Root Beer Sloppy Joes

This will come as no surprise to anyone, but as a kid growing up in Wisconsin, I wasn't really what you'd refer to as "normal."  I didn't like hamburgers, I hated McDonald's, Cheetos kind of freaked me out.  I refused to drink my milk and thought sloppy joes were disgusting.

I still hate milk.  Not sure why, other than it tastes very literally like something that just came out of the stomach of a large animal.  I've come around to sloppy joes, though, largely because of this recipe, which came out of the Roanoke Times.  The keys here are:  a) the dried thyme, which gives the whole dish a nice layered taste; and b) the toasted whole grain buns.  And no, I'm not usually one for whole grain buns, either.  But what can I say?  I think this is one of those dishes where you look at the ingredients separately and shake your head--but when you put them all together?  The kids absolutely love it.  

Root Beer Sloppy Joes

1 lb. ground sirloin or high grade Angus chuck

1 medium onion finely chopped

2 cloves minced garlic

1 tsp. chili powder

1/2 tsp. dried thyme

1/2 tsp. dry mustard

1/4 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

1 cup ketchup

1/2 cup root beer

4-6 whole-grain hamburger buns

1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees.  Slice the buns in half, lay them face down on the rack, and toast for 4-6 minutes, until just crispy on the insides. 
2. In a large-nonstick skillet, cook ground sirloin for 4 minutes on medium until the pink is nearly gone.  Drain. 
3. Add the onion and garlic and cook for another 4 minutes, stirring regularly. 
4. Add the chili powder, thyme, mustard, salt and pepper.  Stir.  
5. Stir in ketchup and root beer.  Reduce heat to medium-low and cook 10 minutes or until the sauce thickens. 
6. Serve on the toasted buns.  

Family Ratings

Will, who really is becoming more easy-going as an eater:  10

Lucy, who thinks the root beer makes dinner taste like dessert (even though it really doesn't): 10

Jamie, who's taken to eating twelve snacks between 4:00 and 6:00, and then saying he doesn't like my cooking:  7

Ellen, who kind of rebels against anything that seems even vaguely midwestern:  7

Paul, who's not getting any skinnier:  10

Lentil Apricot Casserole

A warning:  your kids are going to stare at this and say, "It looks like goat barf."

And another warning:  you're going to agree with them.

So okay:  this recipe doesn't win any awards for presentation.  It looks like hurl.  I can give no stronger recommendation for this dish, though, than the fact that Jamie--Jamie, by far my fussiest eater these days--took seconds of this dish on his own accord.  And then took thirds.

I'm not sure what makes it work.  Obviously, dried apricots are awesome.  And the bulgar wheat gives a nice texture to the dish.  I've never been a friend of lentils--they taste like dirt, if you ask me--but I like them in this dish.  This recipe is actually Ellen's discovery, coming from Michele Urvater's Monday to Friday Cookbook.  This is generally a great book, though a lot of the recipes require a pressure cooker.

Be sure to serve with low-fat yogurt or sour cream.

Lentil Apricot Casserole

1 tablespoon olive oil
1.5 teaspoons curry powder
1 cup bulgar wheat (also known as millet)
1 cup dried lentils
4 cups chicken broth (water will work if you're a vegetarian)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 cup dried apricots, cut in half
Plain low-fat yogurt or sour cream

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.  
2. Heat the oil in a 4-quart ovenproof pan over medium heat. 
3. Add the curry powder and the bulgar wheat/millet.  Saute about 1 minute.  
4. Add the lentils and the broth.  Bring to a low boil and season to taste with salt and pepper. 
5. Cover and bake until the grain and lentils are tender, about 25 minutes.  
6. Remove from oven (dur!), stir in the apricots, add a 1/2 cup more broth if the dish is starting to seem dry.   
7. Re-cover and bake for 10 more minutes.  
8. Adjust seasoning and serve with yogurt/sour cream.  

Family Ratings

Will, who's kind of proud of no longer being the fussiest eater in the family:  9.5

Lucy, who would probably eat this even if it included dirt instead of lentils:  10

Jamie, who's kind of proud of now being the fussiest eater in the family: 10

Ellen, who's been trying to get us to eat less meat for year:  10

Paul, who can actually tolerate the lentils when they're with dried fruit:  9

Greek Lamb Sausages in Tomato Sauce

Okay, I'll be honest:  these are really more meatballs than sausages; I mean, they involve ground meat patted into more or less ball type things--so, meatballs.

But then, as I was writing the title of this post, I thought, "Meatballs.  If I say meatballs, no one will look at this recipe."  And at that moment I understood exactly what Jacqueline Clarke and Joanna Farrow were thinking in A TASTE OF THE MEDITERRANEAN when they decided on the whole "sausages" thing.  

And trust me:  these meatba--er, sausages deserve your attention.  They're stunningly flavorful, but mild enough that the kids will like them too.  They take a bit of time, so I'd recommend them for weekend meals, at least the first few times you try them.  After that, you'll be so addicted you'll make them on a weekday even if it means staying up until midnight to do it.  

Greek Lamb Sausages in Tomato Sauce

1 cup fresh bread crumbs*
2/3 cup milk

1.5 lbs. ground lamb

2 tablespoons grated onion (I know:  weird, right?)

3 garlic cloves, crushed

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 Tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Flour for dusting

1/4 cup olive oil

2.5 cups tomato sauce

1 teaspoon sugar

2 bay leaves

1 small onion, peeled (but NOT chopped!)

Salt and fresly-ground black pepper to taste

*Be sure to make your own:  basically, toss 2-4 slices of bread in the food processor and pulse until you've got fairly fine crumbs.  

1. Combine the bread crumbs and the milk. 
2. Add the lamb, onion, garlic, cumin, parsley, and salt and pepper.  Mix well with your hands. 
3. Shape the meat mixture into fat little ovals, about two inches long, rolling each one in the flour and setting aside. 
4. Mix the tomato sauce, sugar and bay leaves in a pan. 
5. Peel the onion and cut off the ends.  Put the whole onion in the tomato sauce.  Simmer for 20 minutes. 
6. Heat the oil in a separate frying pan to medium.  
7. Fry the sausages for about 8 minutes, turning occasionally until browned evenly. 
8. Remove sausages and place on paper town to drain. 
9. Add the sausages to the tomato sauce and cook on medium low for about 10 more minutes.  
10. Serve with a green salad and/or risotto.  

Family Ratings

Lucy, who increasingly likes anything, and the weirder the better:  10

Will, who still resists rating anything as highly as fajitas:  8

Jamie, who can sometimes surprise us by gobbling things down:  9

Ellen, who loves the taste of lamb but feels guilty . . . : 8

Paul, who loves the simplicity of the flavors in this dish:  10