Salmon in Tomato Cream Sauce

This recipe comes from Madhur Jaffrey's AT HOME WITH MADHUR JAFFREY. If you have kids, you might be thinking: Salmon? Indian cooking? No way.

Maybe. My fairly fussy thirteen-year-old quite likes this, and our visiting students from Egypt and Serbia LOVE it--as do I. It's tasty, a little sweet, very creamy, with a little bit of kick from the cayenne that can be dialed back very easily. Give it a try. Even if your kids don't like it, you will, and eventually the little buggers will grow up and move away, breaking your heart, so, you know: all's fair in love and war.

One note: this calls for skinned salmon fillets. If you can't buy fillets skinned, then try doing it yourself. It's actually not that hard: lay the fillet skin-side down on a cutting, board, then press the fingers of one hand down firmly on a centimeter of the thin side of the fillet. Then, hold a large french chef (the knife, not the person!) at a ninety-degree angle to the fillet. Sawing up and down very slightly, move the flat of the blade into the fillet, in the direction you want to skin. Keep moving your fingers to keep up with the blade. The blade should never rise so high as to threaten your finger tips. Be patient. I learned how to do this, and I'm about as inept a chef as any you've ever met.

One thing to remember: the salmon here tastes amazing--but even better is the taste of the sauce on the basmati rice. So don't skip the rice!

Salmon in Tomato-Cream Sauce

3 cups basmati rice (always use basmati! it just tastes better!)

1.5 lbs salmon fillets

1/4 ts. salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1/4 ts. ground turmeric

1/2 ts. cayenne pepper (divided)

1 cup tomato puree

1 cup heavy cream

1 ts. salt

1 ts. sugar

1 ts. garam masala (it's there in the spice aisle of your grocery store; trust me)

1 ts. ground cumin

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1/4 ts. cayenne pepper

2 tablespoons chopped cilantro

1 ts. whole cumin seeds

1 tablespoon canola oil

1. Prepare the three cups of basmati rice according to instructions. 
2. Wash (and skin if necessary) the salmon
3. Cut the fillets in half, width wise, so that they're shorter and easier to work with.
4. Sprinkle both sides of the salmon with salt, pepper, turmeric, and 1/4 ts. cayenne. Feel free to use more of everything if necessary. 
5. Here, the recipe says to put the salmon in the fridge in a plastic bag for an hour. I sometimes do, but it taste fine without doing this. 
6. Mix together the sauce, including everything else on the list EXCEPT the whole cumin seeds and the oil
7. When the rice is near to ready, heat the oil in a frying pan at medium heat. 
8. When just hot, toss in the whole cumin seeds. When the seeds have sizzled for 10 seconds, pour in the sauce. Mix. Bring to a simmer. 
9. Add the fish pieces. Cover with sauce. 
10. After a minute, turn the fish pieces over and lower the heat to medium-low. 
11. Continue cooking for 6-7 minutes, or until the fish is cooked through. 
12. Serve with the sauce!!!!

Family Ratings: 

James, who's less fussy than he used to be but still fussy: 10

The Serbian kid, who said she eats anything, but nonetheless has favorites: 10

The Egyptian kid, who really does eat anything (except pork): 10

Ellen, who occasionally remembers why she married me: 10

Me, who can't stop talking about how much I love this dish as I stuff it into my mouth: 10

Stir-Fried Pork with Asparagus

This recipe comes from Helen Chen's EASY CHINESE STIR FRIES. The key to this recipe--and the reason kids like it so much--is the hoisin sauce. I'm not actually sure if hoisin sauce exists in China,  but I really don't care. It taste like Coca-Cola served with red licorice. What could be better?

Anyhow, enjoy. I've adjusted some of the sauce ratios to get a slightly stronger flavor.  This should serve four.

Stir-Fried Pork with Asparagus

2 pounds asparagus 

3 TB Cornstarch

3 TB Chinese rice wine or dry sherry

1.5 lbs boneless pork chops

3 TB soy sauce

6 TB hoisin sauce

1 TB sugar

3 TB oil

3 garlic cloves, sliced

2 cups uncooked rice

1. Prepare rice according to instructions
2. Combine corn starch and rice wine
3. Slice pork chops into 1/4-inch pieces and mix into corn starch and rice wine
4. Break lower stems from asparagus and throw away. Cut asparagus into 2-3 inch pieces
5. Combine soy sauce, hoisin sauce, and sugar in a bowl; set aside
6. Pour 1 TB oil into a wok or large frying pan. Heat until asparagus sizzles when you add it 
7. Cook asparagus for 30 seconds until just dark
8. Add 1/4 cup water to asparagus and cover immediately. 
9. Steam for 2-4 minutes until asparagus is just beginning to lose its crispness 
10. Pour asparagus and juice into a bowl and set aside
11. Add the rest of the oil to the pan
12. Once oil is hot, add pork and cook until the pink is just gone
13. Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds
14. Add hoisin sauce mixture, mix well, and cook for one minute
15. Add asparagus, mix well, and cook for 30 seconds. 
16. Remove and serve

Family Ratings: 

Lucy, who remains an adventurous eater: 10

Will, who's happy to eat pretty much anything these days: 10

James, who's easily our finickiest eater: 10

Paul, who found this recipe years ago, then lost it, then found it again: 10

Petra, our Italian student, who's getting used to Paul's cooking: 10

Goan Shrimp Curry

This recipe comes from the unbelievably good At Home with Madhur Jaffrey.  If you're thinking "No WAY will my kids like that!" well . . . you might be right.  But if they like shrimp and they like rice and they like coconut, they just might like this. I've tamped the spiciness factor way down to make it more palatable for young tastebuds.  This recipe is also doubled, because my people eat a lot of it.  

Goa, just so you know, is like, in India and stuff.  

Goan Shrimp Curry

2 Tablespoons canola oil

4 finely chopped medium shallots

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

4 teaspoons sweet paprika

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1/2 teaspoon turmeric

2.5 cups coconut milk (well shaken, preferably before you take it out of the can)

2 lbs peeled shrimp

1 teaspoon salt

1 Tablespoon lemon juice

3 cups cooked basmati or jasmine rice

1. Cook your rice. I use a rice steamer. Those things are effortless. 
2. Chop your shallots. 
3. Mix cayenne, paprika, pepper, and turmeric in a bowl.  Set aside. 
4. Heat oil in a wok or sauce pan. 
5. When hot, add shallots. Cook until light brown. 
6. Take the pan off the heat and add spice mix. Stir once or twice, then put the pan back on the heat. 
7. Add the coconut milk and bring to a low but steady boil. 
8. Add the shrimp, salt, and lemon juice. 
9. Stir and cook over medium heat until shrimp turn pink.  
10. Serve over rice.  

Family Ratings

Lucy, who hates shrimp, except when it's cooked well: 10

James, who isn't crazy about spices: 7

Will, who's really becoming sort of laid back when it comes to food: 8

Ellen, who says I always make her ratings up: Bolivia

Paul, who ate the rest of the leftover shrimp: 10

Petra, our Italian daughter for the year: 7.5

Pasta with Chicken, CARAMELIZED ONIONS, and Blue Cheese

You may have noticed that I haven't posted anything in two or three years. That's because I haven't actually eaten anything for a long long time.

Okay, so that's not true. I've just been busy--raising a family, commuting to work, selling gold records under the pseudonym of Lil Wayne, etc. etc.

And, frankly, you know, sometimes you just don't come across that many new recipes that really float your boat.  In fact, I tried the one I'm about to share maybe 18 months ago. I liked it fine, and made a note of it, but didn't come back to it until tonight. And LOVED it. So very tasty. It's all about the caramelized onions, which, let's admit it: some of your kids may hate. Too bad. Give 'em baby carrots and then help yourself to a third serving.

This recipe comes from a book James gave me for Christmas put out by Food & Wine Books, called "Quick From Scratch Chicken Cookbook." Yeah, I know, right? Some Time Inc. mass-produced, un-authored grocery store text.  But, ya know, it's all about the caramelized onions, right?

Pasta with Chicken, CARAMELIZED ONIONS, and Blue Cheese

1 Tablespoon butter

3 Tablespoons olive oil

2 onions, quartered and cut into thin slices

1-1.5 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breast

3/4 teaspoon dried rosemary, crumbled between your palms

1 garlic clove, minced (not between your palms)

3/4-1 lb short pasta of your choice

2 ounces crumbled blue cheese (about 1/2 cup)

Salt and pepper to taste

1. Trim chicken and season with salt, pepper, and rosemary
2. Begin to boil water with added salt.
3. Melt the butter and 2 TB oil over medium-high heat. Add the onions and 1/2 t salt and cook until the onions are very well browned.  Remove from pan. 
4. Add 1 TB oil to pan and reduce heat to medium. Cook chicken until brown, about 5 minutes. Turn. Cook another 3 minutes. Add garlic and stir for 30 seconds.  Cover the pan, remove from heat, and allow to steam for 5 minutes. 
5. Add pasta to water. Cook until al dente, about 5-7 minutes, depending. DO NOT OVERCOOK.
6. Cut chicken into 1/4 inch slices.
7. Drain past, RESERVING 1/4 CUP OF WATER
8. In a large bowl, toss pasta, chicken, any juices in the pan, onions, blue cheese, salt, pepper, and 2 TB of pasta water. Mix. 
9. If pasta seems dry, add a little more water. 
10. Serve with crusty bread, a leafy salad, and raw baby carrots. 

Family Ratings: 

Lucy ("Are you kidding? Caramelized onions???"): 10

Will, who, though less demonstrative, admits the caramelized onions are nice: 9

James, who spent most of the meal picking the caramelized onions off the chicken: 7-8.5

Ellen, who seemed surprised how much she likes this dish: 10

Paul, who, let's face it, likes his own cooking a little too much: 10

Petra, our Italian exchange student who likes her al dente very al dente: Not yet sure how my cooking compares to the fine, fresh, Italian fare upon which she was raised!

Chickpea & Feta Orzo Salad

This is one of those recipes where every flavor stands out nicely, but the dish as a whole blends well.  It's also incredibly simple. And it's perfect for summer because it won't heat up your kitchen.

It serves mainly as a side-dish, though I suppose one could make a double recipe and treat it as a main course.  Serve at room temperature, or cooled in the fridge.

Chickpea & Feta Orzo Salad

1 cup orzo pasta, uncooked
1/2 cup green onions, sliced thinly
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/4 cup fresh dill, chopped
1 15-oz. can of chickpeas, rinsed
3 TBSP fresh lemon juice
1.5 TBSP extra-virgin olive oil
1 TBSP cold water
1/2 tsp. coarse salt
1/2 tsp. minced garlic

1. Cook the pasta according to directions being sure not to overcook.  Drain and rinse with cold water.  Drain well again. 
2. In a large bowl, combine the cooked pasta, cheese, green onions, dill, and chickpeas.  Toss gently. 
3. In a small bowl, whisk together the lemon juice, oil, water, salt, and garlic. 
4. Drizzle the sauce over the pasta mixture and toss to salt. 

Family Ratings: 

Lucy, who never met a cheese she didn't love: 10

Jamie, who's taken to picking small bits of something or other out of all of his foods, but likes chickpeas:  8

Will, who's becoming increasingly easy-going:  9

Ellen, who's no fool:  10

Paul, who's searched his whole life for a pasta salad that didn't seem forced:  10

Smoky Frittata

This is one of those recipes where you really don't care if your kids like it.  It's just that good.  That said, it's not out of the question that your kids will indeed gobble this dish up:  it contains cheese and more cheese and cream and eggs, and is like a tasty version of scrambled eggs, albeit with cauliflower thrown in.

A few notes:  if your kids aren't cauliflower fans, cut it into small pieces and reduce the boiling/frying time dramatically so as to not overcook.

The recipe calls for scamorza affumicata, a fancy Italian cheese that's often labelled "smoked mozzarella."  If like most people in the known universe you don't have access to this cheese, substitute comte or a similar gruyere-related cheese.  Don't be afraid to allow a little of the skin or rind to get grated in as well, for extra taste texture.

This recipe comes from Yotam Ottomlenghi's PLENTY, which is fast becoming my favorite vegetarian cookbook.

Smoky Frittata

1 small cauliflower, cut into medium-sized florets. 
6 eggs
4 TBSP creme fraiche (I just used sour cream)
2 TBSP dijon mustard
1 tsp sweet paprika
1 tsp smoked paprika (if you don't have both kinds of paprika, just use one kind & don't worry about it)
3 TBSP finely chopped chives
5 oz. smoked scamorza, grated
2 oz. mature cheddar, grated
salt and black pepper
2 TBSP olive oil

1. Simmer the cauliflower in boiling salted water for 4 minutes until semi-cooked (do not let it get completely soft!).  Drain and dry. 
2. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.  Mix the eggs, the cream/creme, the mustard and the paprika and whisk the heck out of it, making sure everything is thoroughly blended.  
3. Stir in the chives and 3/4s of the cheeses.  Season well with salt and pepper.  
4. Heat the olive oil in a large, overproof frying pan.  The pan MUST BE OVENPROOF.  Not that I've tried it without, mind you . . . 
5. Fry the cauliflower in the pan on medium-high for about five minutes until golden brown on one side.  Pour the egg mixture into the pan and spread evenly.  Cook on medium heat for about 5 minutes.  
6. Turn off the burner.  Scatter the remaining cheeses on top of the ingredients in the pan, then carefully transfer the pan to the over.  Cook for 10-12 minutes, or until the frittata has set. 
7. Remove from oven and let rest for 2-3 minutes before serving.  

Family Ratings:  

Lucy, who loves everything, the more adventurous the better as long as it's not too spicy:  10

Jamie, who never got around to trying it:  No score. 

Will, who is actually becoming fairly adventurous himself:  8

Ellen, who is happy I've finely discovered vegetarian cooking:  10

Paul, who likes anything where the cheese to non-cheese ratio is high:  10

Kid-friendly Tuna with Vietnamese Ginger Dipping Sauce

This is clearly one of those recipes where, if your kids are the least bit fussy at all, you've already dismissed it as a possibility.  Which means you're probably not even reading this, so I should probably ignore you.  But what can I say?  I'm a nice guy.  I want everyone to feel important, even if they might just have thoughtlessly dismissed arguably the greatest recipe I've ever posted on my blog.  

Oh my god.  This is SOOOO good.  All three of the kids love it, even Lucy who's almost actually given up claiming she doesn't like fish, solely because of this dish.  

The key is the dipping sauce, which is so good that in truly big fat American style I've gone ahead and doubled the recipe here so that there's enough to go around.  Speaking of fat Americans, though, this recipe is extremely low in fat and really very good for you.  Serve it with jasmine rice and green beans or baby carrots, or some other simple vegetable.  

This recipe is from Andrea Nguyen's wonderful book "Into the Vietnamese Kitchen."  If you don't own this book, you should get on Amazon and buy it immediately.  

Final tip:  if your kids try to reject this dish just because it's tuna, lie and tell them it's chicken.  

Kid-Friendly Tuna with Vietnamese Ginger Dipping Sauce

3 Tuna steaks, roughly 1.5 pounds total (they should be about 1-inch thick)

Marinade

1/2 tsp sugar

1.5 TBSP fish sauce

1 TBSP fresh lime juice

2 TBSP canola or vegetable oil

Dipping sauce: 

A 3 to 4-inch piece of ginger, peeled and minced

9-10 TBSP fresh lime juice (about 5-6 limes)

5 TBSP sugar

4-5 TBSP fish sauce

1. Combine marinade ingredients in a large plastic bag or a small (8x8) baking dish. 
2. Add tuna steaks to marinade and turn to coat.  There's no need to marinate, but it doesn't hurt to let them sit for a while as you prepare the dipping sauce and any side dishes.  
3. Combine the first four ingredients of the dipping sauce.  Adjust ginger and lime juice to taste.
4. Begin by adding 4 TBSP fish sauce.  Adjust to taste.  When you have it just right, mix well and divide the sauce into individual bowls.  These sit alongside each person's plate.  
5. Heat a skillet over medium-high until hot. 
6. Add the tuna steaks. 
7. Cook for 2 minutes on one side. 
8. Carefully turn steaks. 
9. Cook on the second side for 3 minutes. 
10. Test the steaks with a knife.  They should be white at the edges and pink in the middle.  If they look too rare, cook for another minute or two at most, but be careful:  you want pink in the center.  Overcooked tuna tastes like unsalted cardboard.  
11. Transfer steaks to a cutting board and slice into 1/4-inch thick slices.  
12. Serve.  

Family Ratings:

Will, who likes to tease his sister about hating fish:  10

Lucy, who's loathe to surrender her hatred of fish, just because: 10

Jamie, who's pretty sure he's eating chicken:  10

Ellen, who likes that her husband is serving something healthy for once: 10

Paul, who figures that if he eats a healthy dinner he can then have a huge slice of cake: 10

Tasty Tasty Tasty Lamb Stew

Oh my god.  I love this recipe.  It's easy.  It's tasty.  Kids like it, but it's also classy enough that when you serve it to company, you look like a friggin' culinary genius.

That said, it's likely a weekend dish, as it really does require a couple hours to simmer itself into melting tenderness.  Serve over rice (brown or white) with some kind of vegetable.  Hide the leftovers from your spouse.

This comes from A TASTE OF THE MEDITERRANEAN, by Jacqueline Clark and Joanna Farrow.  Last I looked, it seemed to be out of print, but this cookbook is so consistently good it would be worth it to hunt down a used copy and sell your Beamer to pay for it.

Tasty Lamb Stew

3 TBSP olive oil (divided)

3-3.5 lbs lamb fillet, cut into 2-inch cubes (I just use lamb stew meat.  It works dandy).

1 large onion, chopped

6 large garlic cloves, unpeeled

1 bay leaf

1 tsp paprika

1/2 cup dry sherry (I just use your generic cooking sherry.  Works dandy).

4 oz. fresh or frozen f-f-f-f-fava beans (sorry--you knew I was going to do that). 

2 TBSP chopped fresh parsley

Salt and fresh-ground black pepper  

1. Heat to medium high 2 TBSP of the oil in a heavy, flame proof casserole dish or dutch oven (now might be a good time to ask your mother for some Le Creuset . . . )
2. Heat the meat and brown on all sides.  Transfer to a plate lined with paper towels.  (I usually do the meat in two batches).  
3. Heat the remaining oil in the pan, then add the onions and cook for five minutes or so, until soft.  Return the meat to the pot. 
4. Add the garlic cloves, the bay leaf, the paprika, and the sherry.  Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer gently for 2 hours.  Feel free to stir it once or twice in that time to make sure all the meat is soaking in the juices. 
5. Test the meat.  At this point it should be fall-off-your fork tender.  If it's not, cook for another 10-20 minutes, still on low.  
6. When the meat is tender enough, add the fava beans.  Cover and cook for another 10 minutes.  
7. Stir in parsley and serve.  

Family Ratings

Lucy, who is likely the most culinarily adventurous 11-year-old you've ever met:  10

Jamie, who spends most of his meals trying to get Lucy to laugh:  8

Will, who's never liked meat he needs to pick from his teeth:  8

Ellen, who thinks baby sheep are cute and isn't much of a meat eater:  7

Paul, who thinks this is the tastiest stew he's ever encountered:  10

Grilled Chinese Chicken Burgers

My kids have a list of meals they call "The Week of Awesomeness."  It includes Mediterranean Pasta and Root Beer Sloppy Joes.  It also includes this recipe, which I'm finally posting because a friend who had them a few weeks ago has been bugging me to do so.

All of which makes me sound like the world's greatest cook, right?  The irony, though, is that this recipe emerged from a grand mistake:  I found the original version in the newspaper and it included the burgers themselves, a sauce, and a slaw (which I haven't included here, because it's not very good).  

Glancing at the recipe, I dug all of the ingredients out and started mixing, not realizing that I was actually adding components intended for the sauce into the burgers themselves.  

Yeah.  A Ph.D. in English, and I can't even read.  

Anyhow, the result was fantastic.  So that's what I've done ever since.  I've also added a couple things to give the burgers more texture and a bit more flavor.  If your kids don't like cilantro, you can always leave it out, although, frankly, you might want to just get new kids instead.  

One final note:  part of what makes these such a good meal for kids is that a lot of the spice is in the sauce.  That in mind, let the kids test the sauce first to see if they want any.  If they don't, no big deal--that just means more for the grownups.  

Grilled Chinese Chicken Burgers

Burgers

1 lb ground chicken breast

1 lb ground chicken (if you can't find both ground chicken and chicken breast, use two pounds of whatever you can find)  

2 TBSP soy sauce

2 TBSP hoisin sauce

1 TBSP sesame oil

1 TBSP sugar

6 cloves of garlic, minced

1 TBSP minced lemongrass

2 TBSP minced cilantro

1/3 cup green onions, thinly sliced

1 can water chestnuts, drained and chopped (sometimes I use slightly less)

3/4-1 cup store-bought bread crumbs 

6-8 hamburger buns, toasted (I usually split them and put them on the grill, face down, for 2-3 minutes as the grill is warming up)

Sauce

3/4 cup reduced fat mayonnaise

Juice and zest of 1 lime

1-2 TBSP Thai chili sauce

2TBSP hoisin sauce

1. Combine the first 12 ingredients (from ground chicken to bread crumbs).  Mix together well, using your hands.  If it's still sticky when well mixed, add another 1/4 cup of the bread crumbs
2. Fashion into 10-12 patties of moderate thickness.  I like to make them of varying sizes, so that the kids can pick and choose.  (Don't worry about leftovers:  these reheat really well, and are even good cold)
3. Now mix the sauce, adding the mayonnaise, the lime juice and zest, the chili sauce and the hoisin. 
4. Heat your grill, toasting the buns for a few minutes just to make them a little crispy.
5. Grill the burgers, roughly 10-15 minutes, turning frequently.  These cook quickly and throughly, so keep an eye on them.
6. Serve on the buns, with sauce (if desired). 

Family ratings: 

Will, who will request these by name and mock any of his friends who don't like them:  10

Lucy--really, you have to ask?:  10

Jamie, who's into being contrary:  9

Ellen, who's not much of a meat-eater, but loves these:  10

Paul, who's looking less like a former swimmer and more like a former linebacker:  11

Thai Lemon Grass Pork Chops with Dipping Sauce

The beauty of this recipe is that you get an amazing amazing amazing taste, but you only have to marinade for ten minutes!  Another great thing is that, because the dipping sauce is served in small separate bowls, you can make it (and your pork chops) as hot as you want without hurting the kids.  Unless, of course, they've really been annoying you lately and you want to hurt them . . ..  

Not that I'm suggesting that, mind you.

These can be grilled or cooked under the broiler.  The recipe comes from Thailand:  The Beautiful Cookbook, and like most recipes from that book, I haven't changed it a bit.  

Thai Lemon Grass Pork Chops with Dipping Sauce

Marinade Ingredients

2 garlic cloves, minced

1/2 teaspoons white pepper

2 Tablespoons sugar

2 Tablespoons fish sauce

2 Tablespoons soy sauce

1 Tablespoon sesame oil

1 Tablespoon cognac or whiskey or white wine

2 Tablespoons chopped lemon grass

1 Tablespoon finely chopped green onion

2 Tablespoons coconut milk

5-6 bone in pork chops, about 1-1.25 lbs total

Dipping Sauce Ingredients

1/4 cup fish sauce

5 Tablespoons lime juice

1 pinch (or more, if you like) dried red chili pepper flakes

1 Tablespoon finely chopped green onion

1 teaspoon finely chopped cilantro

1.  Mix all the marinade ingredients together thoroughly. 
2. Add pork chops and make sure they're well coated.  Allow to sit for at least ten minutes.
3. Mix together dipping sauce ingredients. 
4. Broil or grill the meat for about 8 minutes on each side or until done. 
5. Serve.  

Family Ratings: 

Will, who kind of digs pork:  10

Lucy, who kind of digs everything except for fish and tomatoes:  10

Jamie, who insists he wants the dipping sauce even when he really doesn't:  10

Ellen, who occasionally grudgingly admits that there are some benefits to being married to me:  10

Paul, who sort of enjoys being who he is, especially when he's eating these pork chops:  10

To Hell with You Chili

I call this "To Hell with You Chili" because I know the moment I post it a bunch of people who REALLY care about chili will write to me and explain to me exactly why this chili is just so so so wrong.

I don't care.  I like this chili.  It tastes good.  It makes me happy.  And my kids like it too.

So . . . well, you get where this is going . . .

Some credit here goes to my friend Sarah who, years ago, told me that her secret for good chili was to use italian sausage instead of ground beef.  Way to go, Sarah!  From there on, it was just one broken rule after another for me.

Note that I kept the heat pretty low on this.  Feel free to add more chili powder or red pepper flakes, particularly if you're mad or your children have been acting sassy lately.  

To Hell with You Chili

2 14 oz. cans Mexican tomatoes (I mean that the tomatoes have Mexican-style spices in them, not that they're actually from south of the border)
1 6 oz. can tomato paste
1 carrot, sliced
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 onion, chopped
2 stalks of celery, also chopped
1/3 cup dark beer
1/3 cup beef broth
1/3 cup steak sauce
1/4 cup white wine
1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/2 green pepper, chopped
1 jar of fire-roasted red peppers, drained and chopped
1 lb. mild Italian sausage (or hot, if you prefer)
1/2 lb ground sirloin
5 slices of bacon
2 TBS chili powder
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. dried basil
1 15 oz. can kidney beans
1 TBS chopped fresh cilantro
1 TBS chopped fresh parsley

1. Combine tomatoes, tomato paste, onion, carrot, celery, beer, broth, wine, steak sauce, pepper flakes, bell peppers, and roasted pepper together in a large pot.  
2. Simmer over medium heat. 
3. Cook bacon in a frying pan until crunchy. 
4. Drain bacon on paper towels.  Cook sausage and beef in bacon grease.  Stir in the chili powder, basil, and cumin. 
5. Mix the beef/sausage mixture into the simmering vegetables, adding the bacon.  
6. Cover and continue to simmer for 20-30 minutes (or longer), until the veggies are tender and the flavors are tasty.  
7. Stir in the beans, cilantro, and parsley.  Simmer for another ten minutes. 
8. Serve with saltine crackers.  

Family ratings: 

Will, who almost likes this chili as much as fajitas but won't give it a higher score just out of principle: 9.5

Lucy, who pretty much loves everything:  10

Jamie, who can occasionally surprise himself with the things he likes: 9

Ellen, who much prefers the vegetarian chili recipe we've been using for twenty years:  6

Paul, who knows he's going to get in trouble with his mom for naming this chili what he did:  10

Salmon Pasta with Tarragon Sauce

Yeah, I know, I know:  whose kid eats salmon?  I mean, really, right?

Fair enough.  While Will and James will do due diligence and eat more or less most of the salmon that arrives on their plate in this dish, Lucy, my fearless go-to eater, pretty much refuses to eat more than one piece or two of the salmon, picking through the noodles instead.  She does this, I'm pretty sure, more out of principal than out of taste:  fish has always been the one food item at which she draws the line, and the more her older brother teases her about it, the more she insists she hates it.

So when I serve this, two of my kids do fairly well, one of my kids eats pretty much only the noodles and sauce, and Ellen and I CHOW DOWN!

Because you know what?  This dish tastes GREAT--so great that I'm not really bothered if my kids don't like it and/or don't eat that much of it.  Hell, serve them a couple carrot sticks to round off their appetites if that's what it takes.  This meal is delicious, and it deserves to be placed on the table at every possible opportunity.

Period.

And just for the record, tarragon is THE most underrated herb ever.

Period.

A few notes:

• Always used the thin sliced smoked salmon--also known as lox.  And if you can, get the hardwood apple smoked, as I find this adds a little extra sweetness and . . . um . . . smokiness . . .
• Use fresh tarragon.  And rather than plucking the leaves off the stem one by one, just hold the stem firmly in one hand, pinch the fingers of the other hand together, and pull along the stem in one smooth motion, tearing the leaves off that way.  Much faster. 

I took this recipe from the Betty Crocker Easy Italian book, pretty much word for word.  Betty rocks, even if she is just the imaginative product of an anonymous corporation.  

Salmon Pasta with Tarragon Sauce

16 oz. bow-tie or similar pasta
1 TBSP olive oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 TBSP chopped fresh tarragon leaves
1 TBSP chopped fresh parsley

1/4 cup dry white wine or chicken broth

1.5 cups half-and-half

2 tsp stone-ground mustard

1-2 packages (3-4 oz. each) of sliced smoked salmon lox

1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

1. Cook and drain your pasta following the directions on the package
2. Prepare your herbs
3. Pealing off each layer of the salmon separately, cut it into 1/2-inch wide strips using a cooking shears (this is to prevent the salmon from clumping together, something that will undoubtedly turn off any kid)
4. In a medium skillet, heat the oil over moderate heat.  Cook the onion, tarragon, and parsley for 3-4 minutes, until onion is tender.  
5. Add the wine
6. Cook for 2-3 minutes, until the wine has almost evaporated
7. Stir in the half-and-half and the mustard
8. Heat until just boiling, then reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 7-8 minutes, until the sauce has thickened
9. In a large serving dish, mix together the pasta, the salmon, the sauce, and 1/4 cup of the cheese, then toss gently until the pasta is coated
10. Serve with remaining cheese

Family Ratings: 

Lucy, who insists she hates fish even though she once gave a tuna steak a "10" before realizing what it was:  6

Jamie, who still kind of assumes all meat is chicken:  8

Will, who likes to like fish because his sister hates it:  8

Ellen, who herself isn't too crazy about smoked fish:  10

Paul, who never ate salmon until he was 35 and now loves it:  10

Wild Rice Salad with Chicken (or leftover Turkey)

This is one of those recipes that I found in the newspaper maybe three weeks ago.  Since then, we've made it approximately 26 times, and it's been gobbled down every time.

Obviously, it's intended for the efficient re-use of leftover chicken or turkey--you need about two cups of either.  Since I don't always have chicken laying around the house, I've also included a little coda that shows how to prepare chicken breasts specifically for this recipe.

Don't worry about either the onions or the hot pepper sauce bothering your fussy kids:  the grapes and apples will distract them, and I find that they also generally like the chewy-ishness (yes, that's a real word) of the wild rice.  But then, who doesn't?

Wild Rice Salad with Chicken (or Turkey)

1 cup uncooked brown rice

1 cup uncooked white rice

1 cup uncooked wild rice

3 cups chicken broth (more or less, depending on whether or not you're using a rice steamer)

3 cups water (again, more or less)

2 cups leftover chicken (or 1-1.5 lb. uncooked chicken breast--see note, below)

1 cup seedless grapes, halved

1/4 cup celery

1/4 cup green onion, sliced

1/4 cup walnut pieces

1/4 parsley, chopped

1/2 tsp. coarse salt

1/2 tsp. pepper

1 Granny Smith Apple, cut into wedges

1 cup chicken broth

For the dressing:

1/4 cup orange juice

2 Tbsp. white wine vinegar

2 tsp. sugar

1/2 tsp. coarse salt

1/2 tsp. hot pepper sauce

1. Rinse the three rices and mix them together.  If you have a rice steamer, pour them in to the steamer and measure in the appropriate amount of liquid, being sure to use equal parts chicken broth and water.  If you're NOT using a rice steamer, you'll likely need a total of six cups of liquid (or slightly less)--again, using equal parts chicken broth and water.  
2. Start the rice.  Go read a book or play with your kids or something.  (Obviously, this step can be done ahead of time).  
3. If you DON'T have any pre-cooked chicken, at this point follow the instructions in my note below.  
4. Once the rice is done, scrape it into a large bowl to cool.  Stir it on occasion to let the heat out. 
5. Taste the rice and add a little salt if it needs it. 
6. In a small sauce pan, heat up the chicken broth.  When it's just starting to boil, drop in your apple wedges.  Simmer for 10-15 minutes until just soft.  Remove apple wedges, get rid of the chicken broth. 
7. Chop your cooked chicken, the celery, the green onions, and the parsley.  Slice your grapes.  Mix all of this together with the walnut pieces and the salt and pepper.  When the apples have cooled, chop them into thirds and add them as well. 
8. Mix together the ingredients for the dressing.  
9. Combine the rice, the chicken mixture, and the dressing.  Add additional seasoning if necessary.  
10. Serve. 

NOTE:  If you don't have pre-cooked or leftover chicken, do this while the rice is cooking. 

1. Trim and separate 1-1.5 lbs. chicken breasts, then cut each breast in half again. 
2. Heat 1 Tbsp. olive oil and one Tbsp. butter in a small frying pan.  
3. Brown the chicken very very lightly.  You don't want to form a hard coating.  
4. Add roughly 1 cup chicken broth.  
5. Cover.  Bring to boil.  Cook on medium-low for 8-12 minutes.  (You can also throw in the apple wedges at this point, if you'd like.)
6. Once the chicken is done, chop and continue the recipe until completed.  

Family Ratings

Lucy, who pretty much loves everything:  10

Jamie, who's getting really fussy, but likes the grapes and wild rice:  10

Will, who's 13 and feeling kind of contrary:  8

Ellen, who's a little surprised I'm cooking something so healthy:  10

Paul, who's even more surprised:  10

Simple Pasta with Nuts and Cheese

I clipped this recipe from the Columbus Dispatch (aka, the Dogpatch) roughly twenty years ago.  It's one of those recipes that I always forget about, but every time I make it I'm just delighted.  And this last time I made it, the kids loved it.  It's so simple, that it's about to become a staple at our house . . . 

Simple Pasta with Nuts and Cheese 

12 oz. rotini

6 tablespoons butter

2 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped

1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts

1/3 cup grated Parmesan

1-2 tablespoons crumbled blue cheese

3 tablespoons finely chopped parsley

Salt and pepper to taste

1. Boil a pot of water and cook your pasta until al dente. 
2. When the pasta is close to done, heat the butter in a small pan at medium. 
3. Add the garlic and cook for one minute.
4. Add the nuts and sauté two minutes, until toasted.  Remove from heat. 
5. Combine pasta, cheeses, parsley, and nuts in a serving dish.  Toss to coat.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  

Family Ratings

Will, who's getting almost easygoing about food:  10

Lucy.  Nuts?!  Cheese?!  You kidding me?!:  10

Jamie, who also likes cheese:  10

Ellen, who can't believe I remembered this recipe after all these years: 10

Paul.  Nuts?!  Cheese?!  You kidding me?!: 10

Root Beer Sloppy Joes

This will come as no surprise to anyone, but as a kid growing up in Wisconsin, I wasn't really what you'd refer to as "normal."  I didn't like hamburgers, I hated McDonald's, Cheetos kind of freaked me out.  I refused to drink my milk and thought sloppy joes were disgusting.

I still hate milk.  Not sure why, other than it tastes very literally like something that just came out of the stomach of a large animal.  I've come around to sloppy joes, though, largely because of this recipe, which came out of the Roanoke Times.  The keys here are:  a) the dried thyme, which gives the whole dish a nice layered taste; and b) the toasted whole grain buns.  And no, I'm not usually one for whole grain buns, either.  But what can I say?  I think this is one of those dishes where you look at the ingredients separately and shake your head--but when you put them all together?  The kids absolutely love it.  

Root Beer Sloppy Joes

1 lb. ground sirloin or high grade Angus chuck

1 medium onion finely chopped

2 cloves minced garlic

1 tsp. chili powder

1/2 tsp. dried thyme

1/2 tsp. dry mustard

1/4 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

1 cup ketchup

1/2 cup root beer

4-6 whole-grain hamburger buns

1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees.  Slice the buns in half, lay them face down on the rack, and toast for 4-6 minutes, until just crispy on the insides. 
2. In a large-nonstick skillet, cook ground sirloin for 4 minutes on medium until the pink is nearly gone.  Drain. 
3. Add the onion and garlic and cook for another 4 minutes, stirring regularly. 
4. Add the chili powder, thyme, mustard, salt and pepper.  Stir.  
5. Stir in ketchup and root beer.  Reduce heat to medium-low and cook 10 minutes or until the sauce thickens. 
6. Serve on the toasted buns.  

Family Ratings

Will, who really is becoming more easy-going as an eater:  10

Lucy, who thinks the root beer makes dinner taste like dessert (even though it really doesn't): 10

Jamie, who's taken to eating twelve snacks between 4:00 and 6:00, and then saying he doesn't like my cooking:  7

Ellen, who kind of rebels against anything that seems even vaguely midwestern:  7

Paul, who's not getting any skinnier:  10

Lentil Apricot Casserole

A warning:  your kids are going to stare at this and say, "It looks like goat barf."

And another warning:  you're going to agree with them.

So okay:  this recipe doesn't win any awards for presentation.  It looks like hurl.  I can give no stronger recommendation for this dish, though, than the fact that Jamie--Jamie, by far my fussiest eater these days--took seconds of this dish on his own accord.  And then took thirds.

I'm not sure what makes it work.  Obviously, dried apricots are awesome.  And the bulgar wheat gives a nice texture to the dish.  I've never been a friend of lentils--they taste like dirt, if you ask me--but I like them in this dish.  This recipe is actually Ellen's discovery, coming from Michele Urvater's Monday to Friday Cookbook.  This is generally a great book, though a lot of the recipes require a pressure cooker.

Be sure to serve with low-fat yogurt or sour cream.

Lentil Apricot Casserole

1 tablespoon olive oil
1.5 teaspoons curry powder
1 cup bulgar wheat (also known as millet)
1 cup dried lentils
4 cups chicken broth (water will work if you're a vegetarian)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 cup dried apricots, cut in half
Plain low-fat yogurt or sour cream

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.  
2. Heat the oil in a 4-quart ovenproof pan over medium heat. 
3. Add the curry powder and the bulgar wheat/millet.  Saute about 1 minute.  
4. Add the lentils and the broth.  Bring to a low boil and season to taste with salt and pepper. 
5. Cover and bake until the grain and lentils are tender, about 25 minutes.  
6. Remove from oven (dur!), stir in the apricots, add a 1/2 cup more broth if the dish is starting to seem dry.   
7. Re-cover and bake for 10 more minutes.  
8. Adjust seasoning and serve with yogurt/sour cream.  

Family Ratings

Will, who's kind of proud of no longer being the fussiest eater in the family:  9.5

Lucy, who would probably eat this even if it included dirt instead of lentils:  10

Jamie, who's kind of proud of now being the fussiest eater in the family: 10

Ellen, who's been trying to get us to eat less meat for year:  10

Paul, who can actually tolerate the lentils when they're with dried fruit:  9

Greek Lamb Sausages in Tomato Sauce

Okay, I'll be honest:  these are really more meatballs than sausages; I mean, they involve ground meat patted into more or less ball type things--so, meatballs.

But then, as I was writing the title of this post, I thought, "Meatballs.  If I say meatballs, no one will look at this recipe."  And at that moment I understood exactly what Jacqueline Clarke and Joanna Farrow were thinking in A TASTE OF THE MEDITERRANEAN when they decided on the whole "sausages" thing.  

And trust me:  these meatba--er, sausages deserve your attention.  They're stunningly flavorful, but mild enough that the kids will like them too.  They take a bit of time, so I'd recommend them for weekend meals, at least the first few times you try them.  After that, you'll be so addicted you'll make them on a weekday even if it means staying up until midnight to do it.  

Greek Lamb Sausages in Tomato Sauce

1 cup fresh bread crumbs*
2/3 cup milk

1.5 lbs. ground lamb

2 tablespoons grated onion (I know:  weird, right?)

3 garlic cloves, crushed

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 Tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Flour for dusting

1/4 cup olive oil

2.5 cups tomato sauce

1 teaspoon sugar

2 bay leaves

1 small onion, peeled (but NOT chopped!)

Salt and fresly-ground black pepper to taste

*Be sure to make your own:  basically, toss 2-4 slices of bread in the food processor and pulse until you've got fairly fine crumbs.  

1. Combine the bread crumbs and the milk. 
2. Add the lamb, onion, garlic, cumin, parsley, and salt and pepper.  Mix well with your hands. 
3. Shape the meat mixture into fat little ovals, about two inches long, rolling each one in the flour and setting aside. 
4. Mix the tomato sauce, sugar and bay leaves in a pan. 
5. Peel the onion and cut off the ends.  Put the whole onion in the tomato sauce.  Simmer for 20 minutes. 
6. Heat the oil in a separate frying pan to medium.  
7. Fry the sausages for about 8 minutes, turning occasionally until browned evenly. 
8. Remove sausages and place on paper town to drain. 
9. Add the sausages to the tomato sauce and cook on medium low for about 10 more minutes.  
10. Serve with a green salad and/or risotto.  

Family Ratings

Lucy, who increasingly likes anything, and the weirder the better:  10

Will, who still resists rating anything as highly as fajitas:  8

Jamie, who can sometimes surprise us by gobbling things down:  9

Ellen, who loves the taste of lamb but feels guilty . . . : 8

Paul, who loves the simplicity of the flavors in this dish:  10

No Fuss Gooey Chocolate Cake

This cake, done in a slow cooker for 2-3 hours, really doesn't need much introduction:  it's easy (kids can make it), tasty, and so obnoxious that it's somehow really really fun.  Serve with homemade whipped cream (a recipe follows, just in case you've lived in a cave your whole life).  This recipe comes from Fix-it and Forget-it Kids Cookbook.

No Fuss Gooey Chocolate Cake

1 cup dry all-purpose baking mix (i.e., Bisquick)

1 cup sugar, divided

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, plus 3 extra Tablespoons

1/2 cup milk

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 and 2/3 cups hot water

Cooking spray

1. Spray the inside of your slow cooker with cooking spray.
2. In a medium bowl, mix together the baking mix, 1/2 cup sugar, 3 Tablespoons cocoa powder, milk, and vanilla.  
3. Spoon the batter into your slow cooker and spread out evenly. 
4. In a separate mixing bowl, mix 1/2 cup sugar, 1/3 cup cocoa powder, and the hot water.  
5. Pour this mix over the batter, but DO NOT STIR.
6. Cover the slow cooker and cook on High for 2-3 hours. 
7. After two hours, test the cake by sliding a toothpick into the center and pulling it out again.  If it looks wet, keep cooking.  If it has some dry crumbs on it, it's ready for eating.  
8. Serve warm with whipped cream (or vanilla ice cream.  Or both.)

Home-made Whipped Cream

1. Pour a cup of heavy whipping cream into a bowl. 
2. Add a teaspoon of vanilla or almond extract. 
3. Add a teaspoon of sugar.
4. Blend until relatively firm.  Do not over-blend!  This will never get quite as stiff as the crap you buy from a grocery store, which is okay, since you don't want those chemicals in your body.  

Family Ratings: 

Seriously?  You need me to tell you that everyone in our family gave this a 10?  Did you READ the recipe?????

Pan-Glazed Chicken with Basil

This is an old standard in our family:  it's about as easy as they come and very flavorful.  It comes from Cooking Light's 5 Ingredient, 15 Minute Cookbook.

Pan-Glazed Chicken with Basil

4 boned, skinned chicken breast halves

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

2 teaspoons olive oil

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon honey

4 tablespoons chopped fresh basil

1. Slice the chicken breasts in half, length-wise.  (If they're extra thick, you might want to slice them thickness-wise as well, just to make for more even cooking.)
2. Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. 
3. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet at medium-high. 
4. Cook chicken for five minutes each side until lightly browned. 
5. While chicken is cooking, mix together the vinegar, honey, and basil
6. When chicken is ready, stir in the honey mixture and cook for one additional minute. 
7. Serve with rice, baby carrots, lime jell-o, and anything else your kids like.  

Family Ratings

Will, who has a habit of picking up a large chunk of meat and eating it off his fork, like the Asians do with chopsticks:  10

Lucy, who could probably already make this herself:  10

Jamie, who actually finishes it before we have to tell him to:  10

Ellen, who comes from the midwest and likes minimalist, fresh flavorings:  10

Paul, who's had this about 600 times in the last 17 years and is mildly sick of it:  9

Thai Pepper Steak

Yes, I know this is the second Thai recipe I've posted in a row.  I'd had plans to post recipes for gooey chocolate cake and balsamic vinegar chicken (two different dishes, just in case you were worried).  But then I made this for the first time tonight, took one bite, and went, "Well heck!  THAT'S good!"

(Actually, that's not what I said.  I said, "Well %$#@!  THAT'S &^%$ amazing!" but since this is a family oriented blog--unlike my other blog--I thought I'd keep it clean.  Just this once.)

Anyhow, this also comes from Thailand:  The Beautiful Cookbook, which, despite its awkward name, is rapidly becoming one of my favorites.  I messed a bit here with proportions (using less white pepper than they recommended) and cooking order/time (I prefer my red peppers not cooked into a mush), but other than that, this is straight from the book.

Excuse me:  the @#&% book.

The recipe below is for four servings, but this recipe doubles nicely.  It probably halves nicely, too, for that matter.

Thai Pepper Steak

Marinade: 

1 teaspoon fish sauce

1 Tablespoon cornstarch

1/8 teaspoon white pepper 

The rest: 

1-2 cups rice (I use jasmine) cooked per instructions

1 lb. tender beef (I use flank steak or flat iron steak)

2 tablespoons oil

4 garlic cloves, minced

1/4 cup thinly sliced onion

1/4 cup thinly sliced red bell pepper

1/4 cup thinly sliced green bell pepper

3 Tablespoons fish sauce

1 Tablespoon Maggi Seasoning *

2 Tablespoons sugar

1 Tablespoon sesame oil

* You should be able to get Maggi Seasoning in the foreign foods section of your grocery store; it's in a little yellow and red jar with a yellow cap.  If you can't find it, one site I visited recommended just using bacon bits . . . 

1. Start your rice, according to directions.  
2. Mix the marinade ingredients.  It'll be pretty pasty.  Don't worry.  
3. Slice the beef across the grain very thinly--say, 1/8 of an inch or less.  (An 8-inch French chef knife is best for this.  Just be sure to hide your thumb behind your other fingers).  
4. Place beef in the marinade and mix.  Set aside for at least 10 minutes.  
5. Chop the garlic, slice the onions, etc.  
6. Mix the fish sauce, Maggi Seasoning, sugar, and sesame oil together in a small bowl.  
7. Heat your wok or a large frying pan until hot.  Coat with the oil.  
8. Toss in the garlic.  Cook for five seconds. 
9. Add beef.  Stir fry for 1-2 minutes until still just barely pink.  
10. Add the onions and stir-fry for 30 seconds. 
11. Add green and red peppers.  Stir-fry for 30 seconds.  
12. Add the fish sauce, etc.  Stir-fry for 2 minutes.  
13. Serve over rice!

Family Ratings

Lucy, who's recovering from the flu and was cautious:  10

Will, who's something of a beef eater, even if he doesn't have one of those weird hats:  10

Jamie, who insisted on eating the meat with none of the sauce:  7

Ellen, who appreciates that her husband cooks for her, even if she's not crazy about beef:  8

Paul.  Seriously?  You have to ask?:  10